CECIL'S POOP DECK
 
 
Experience the wit  of Cecil Gonococci
"I suppose we never emerged from the anal fixation stage that Freud described. It began in  law school when my roommates and I began to theorize on how many human bowel movements it would take to fill the Dean's office. From there we fantasized about filling stadiums..."
 
   "I once said that farts would always be funny -- to men, and if that's so then tall tales 
                                              of shitting are simply fucking hilarious -- to everyone."
 
Why send us your feces?
   
  It's a free speech issue: if we aren't allowed to display and discuss our bowel movements in a public forum, how can we be expected to have intelligent importnat political discourse?
                                                             .
.
.
Ray from San Diego sent this link  
  
Click Here for:The Toilet  

The Toilet "was created as a [pensive] discussion of bodily functions, without the fetish, sexual and adult, and pornographic aspects usually  associated with the topic."  I can't even remember how I found it, but I remember thinking it was pretty funny because my ex-wife was preternaturally concerned with her dumpings.
 
 
  
This Nevada shaped crap was laid by Ensign Cecil himself
  
Sent in by Jean from South Park The  
3  
dark objects  
in the picture are  
either turds  
by Jean  
in  
South Park or  
UFO's  
over the desert in New Mexico. 
  
There are certain things in life I'm simply not willing to do - send you a snapshot of my feces is among them.
Pat in San Diego
  

 
Casey from NYC sent this piss litmus test: 

Piss Standing!
  

Bathroom Humor forwarded from Los Angeles by Carlos Guillen: 

Ghost Poopie  
     The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.  

Lincoln Log Poopie  
     The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.  

The Surprise Poopie  
     You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!! 
  
"Gotta go drop the  kids off at  the pool."
 
Liz from Houston, TX writes: 

   This opens up a whole can for me. 
   I'm poop-obsessed! 
   I've never photographed my shit, but I have documented it.    (Since I have IBS it is always very interesting and smells horrible no matter what. There  are a few people out there who might have good disgusting  shit stories to tell about me to back that up. Again, no pun intended. I'm hoping, though, that those people are dead.) In 1993 I wrote something called The Shit Diaries that chronicled most of my shits for a year (I was always  constipated and so kept a notebook in my purse to write in while I sat and waited) and coincidentally also followed the dissolution of a relationship. 
 
Also I remember a great shit story about Thanksgiving that my  friend Shawn told us: This big beefy guy from Southern California had a  barbecue with all his friends and family over, and he went to the bathroom to  move his bowels. He came back out and made everyone go look at it since it was so  HUGE. Apparently it took up the whole toilet bowl, and looked like a beehive. They had to chop it up with a butcher knife to get it to  flush. 
 
Also, my favorite euphemism for needing to take a shit is "Touching Cloth." 

My favorite euphemism for taking a shit is "Gotta go drop the kids off at   the pool." 

  
 

BACK TO THE DECK WOO MUSIC COLUMN    More on Urine