Devon Goldberg's  Spot-A-Star
 

On the set of "Strangers with Candy," a weekly Comedy
Central television show.

Let me explain...anyone know Leah Reinger@#$w&%ic#z (aka San Diego's
Sandra Bernhard)?  Well, she hooked me up with some stand-in work
with Comedy Central in the meantime while I am figuring out how I am
going to get David Bowie to hire me as his guitar player.  Since, the
star of "Strangers with Candy" is only 5'1", the rest of the cast is
small in order to help make her appear taller.  Leah and I discussed
prior to the first day how this is bad for me b/c I am really 5'11"
trying to stand in for people who are typically 5'7" or 5'8".  Lucky
for me, big soles are in right now in New York, so I just wear my
smallest soled tennies to work and scrunch down a little bit in a non-
obvious manner.

I started as a stand-in for Fred (something-or-other).  He used to
play Chip on Kate & Allie.  He's all grown up now but still has those
chubby cheeks.  Next thing you know, I am rubbing elbows with Amy
Sederis (Second City Television, sister of writer David Sederis),
Paul Dinello (Second City Television), Stephen Colbert (Second City,
the Daily Show) and Bob Balaban (Altered States, Midnight Cowboy,
Close Encounters, Seinfeld, director of Parents, etc.)  I am now Mr.
Bablaban's right hand man ("What's your name again?  We need you on
set a.s.a.p.)  There is even talk of trying to get Crispen Glover for
an episode.  Can you imagine being so lucky as to be Mr. Hellion
Glover's Stand-in?  I know a lot of people on this list would kill
for that title.  Who's next (and 5'8")?  Pacino, De Niro, Hopper,
Benigni, Duvall! Come on, I'm ready...

As if my appearance a few months ago on David Letterman wasn't
enough...it was only the beginning.  That's right, I am not just a
stand-in.  In my spare time around the set, I like to sometimes offer
my services as an actor.  My national debut (not counting my stint on
the Letterman Show) will occur sometime after June 1 ...as I appear as
a Flatpoint High School student roaming the halls, holding some books,
possibly carrying a backpack or other prop, wearing a long sleeve light BLUE
shirt on the show "Strangers with Candy" currently at 10:30 p.m. on Comedy
Central (after "South Park).  What are the chances that a 29 year old struggling
musician from San Diego with no acting experience or skills
whatsoever would get such a major television role as a 16
or 17 year old high school student?  Who would've guessed that my
move to the Big Apple would be so fruitful?

So get your vcrs ready for optimum slow-mo and pausing action.  Again
that is Comedy Central, Wednesday at 10:30 p.m. after
South Park.  I think they repeat it on Friday noghts as well.  Jaywad
I know that that Direct TV must get that station)...Oh, and don't
think it stops there.  That's right, I will likely be on the
following week as well.

I am suddenly up to my eyeballs in spot-a-stars (and possibly on my
way to becoming a living, breathing, walking, talking spot-a-star
myself).

Please let me know if you see it?

Finally, I read in the Village Voice last week that French 70's prog-
rock giant Magma (you know, the band who made up there own language
and were supposedly from the planet Ork (not to be confused with the
silly planet referenced on Mork and Mindy) will be performing here in
June.  That must mean they reformed, eh...so be on the lookout
elsewhere...
 

Swab the Deck            Sirens